My counseling philosophy

There are many private admissions counselors available, so let me tell you what makes me unique. Below are the principles that guide my student interactions.

 

Applying for college is stressful:

Students are bombarded by recommendations from all sides—teachers, parents, peers, and (worst of all) social media—receiving confusing and conflicting advice. Students also feel pressure to compare themselves to peers, often despairing that they don’t live up to people’s expectations (even when this is not true). Consequently, students constantly feel pressed into action but are unsure which actions to take.

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I get this, and this reality is typically my starting point with new students. I explain that admissions is a holistic process, there are only 24 hours in a day, and it’s not necessary to be everything to everyone in order to stand out. Together, the student and I create a counseling plan that’s ambitious, but channels that ambition into a manageable actions that avoid burnout.

 

Life has lots to offer:

“Following one’s passion” is a common bit of counseling advice ... sometimes too common. It’s also a mantra that pushes students to increasingly choose specializations at a young age, leading to pressure for those who aren’t yet ready to choose a path.

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Fortunately, life is long and people don’t need to identify their primary passions in high school (and, statistically, most don’t). The world is big, and it’s necessary to learn its contours before choosing a career. Thus, rather than forcing students to specialize, I give them the tools to be a lifelong explorer of our world and everything it contains.  (I’m a big fan of Cal Newport’s work in this regard).

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In practice, this means that I work with students to identify areas where they might thrive, and encourage them to explore these areas. This exploration then leads to self-reflection, where I help students analyze what they enjoy (and don’t enjoy) about what they encounter, which leads back to a new round of exploration. Through this process, students not only learn about future career paths, but mature as they gain more exposure to life’s many facets.

 

Finding the RIGHT colleges:

This may be the most misunderstood part of the application process. Most schools look similar upon the surface, so much that many students solely rely upon generic rankings when forming college lists. Such students end up at colleges that may be good, but aren’t necessarily the best for them.

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Equally important, overlooking the diversity within America’s many great schools misses the important role of “fit” within the application process. For better or worse, admissions into top American schools is not a merit-based procedure; rather, each school has particular campus needs they wish to address when forming their incoming cohorts, and selecting students who can fill those needs is a critical part of their process. Admitting a star athlete for a school sports team is the easiest example of this, but the process works through all layers of campus life. Some schools want more people interested in student government, others want to see more campus outreach, while some are short on orchestra members, etc. This often means that a student with an interesting hobby or unique talent—one they have identified and cultivated through a thorough exploration of life’s opportunities—can win out over someone with a superior SAT score or GPA.

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So I get students to learn their schools! While helping them develop their interests, I have them run a parallel exploration of the myriad opportunities across America’s many great schools. This means that students aren’t only ruminating on what interests them now, but have on eye how and where they could develop those interests in the future. I show them how to do quality research, and even how to contact admissions officers to ask thoughtful questions. The result is that, when applying senior year, students have both a well-developed sense of self AND how they would fit into and contribute towards their new college home. Being able to articulate this sense of belonging might be the most overlooked part of applications.

 

“Be yourself":

I hated this advice when I was younger because I didn’t know how to do it. So today I give kids an easier version: don’t pretend you’re someone you’re not. Sadly, many students fall victim to this misstep when applying to college, hiding their real self while pretending to be someone they think the college wants to see. I see this a lot on college essays, where I’ll watch a student rewrite and destroy a brilliant paragraph because they heard from somewhere that “I need to talk about X if I want to get accepted.”

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But what admission officers really want is for students to be themselves. Think about it: if every student wrote about the same things, reading all those essays would be an incredibly boring job! Furthermore, when students talk deeply about their interests, that depth is reflected within the details of what they say and write. Conversely, when students pretend to be interested in things they don’t know well, their writing becomes generic (much like an AI essay).

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Thus, when helping students with essays, I get them to focus upon their own experiences and feelings, and to say what they think instead of what they believe others are expecting to hear. The result are authentic essays that highlight the individual characteristics of the student (and thereby giving colleges a clear picture of what that student will bring to campus).

 

Conclusion:

Putting the above components together teaches young students how to feel empowered, how to take interest in life, how to imagine their future selves upon various college campuses, and how to articulate all this within an application. The result is students who, while making great admission candidates, develop a confidence and curiosity that will serve them for the remainder of their lives.

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If all this sounds good to you, feel free to contact me for a free introductory consultation!